Friday, January 28, 2011

Some Friday Funnies...

 I haven't stopped my picture taking ways, I've just been too busy to post I guess.  These two speak for themselves.  She thought she was pretty hot stuff.
 At a recent Dinner Night my nephews brought over their X.BOX and Adalyn thought this was a great thing and has now put one on her Birthday list.  There are many buttons to press on these things and
 no one seems to mind if she whacks them.

 Ripley(my brother's German Shepherd) came over too so he and Possum could frolic in the snow together.

 And this is Max.  Maximus is his full name.  After giving the bottom shelf of the china cabinet over to the girls to decorate, I thought he fit right in.  The girls love this dog(but if it weighs less than my cats, do we still call it a dog?)  They can carry it around and it likes it.  Not so much with Possum.  It was an interesting mix of animals to say the least;)

Our good friends Eric, Barb and their son Nathen.

And somehow this picture ended up as my desktop when the night was over.  I love our dinner nights, and the busier we get, the more I feel like I need them.  

I will admit that there was about a 45 minute excursion where Barb, Tia and I went to this house and sat in the driveway for a good 30 minutes. This house is about 5 minutes away from me. I love this house. I walked through it during an open house with all 3 girls and fell in love. The mudroom is the size of my kitchen. I wanted to buy it before I even saw the rest of it. I am trying(very hard I might say) to get Kurt and Tia to buy it. They are looking to move so it seems like perfect timing. I've even offered to move my family in with them as a sort of utopian communal living situation. I'm not sure if that last bit was helping or hurting my cause. Right now they live a whole, long, drudging hour away. This is truly unacceptable and I am trying to get them as close to us as possible. There are no houses for sale on our street but this one is close enough;) It is a fantastic price and has a lot of acreage for a suburban location AND Wegmans is only 5 minutes away! This should really be on their short list. Like, the only one on the list actually.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Happy Birthday Christina!

To my very lovely, smart, inventive, supportive, fantastic ASIL, have a truly wonderful birthday!

Friday, January 21, 2011


As I write this, I'm not sure I will even post it.  Remember Him?  Tsegaye Mamush, our Ethiopian adopted 'son' through Compassion International.  He is 22 now.  He has aged out of the Compassion program.  Something we were expecting.  But when I got the 'official' call the other day, informing me that he was done, I was stunned.  And embarrassingly teary with the woman as I asked her many questions.

How will he complete his final 2 years of vocational studies without the programs' support?  Who will pay for it?  She wasn't sure.

Ethiopia has a very high unemployment rate(30% for his age bracket) so if he doesn't finish school, how will he get a job?  She didn't know.

His last letter mentioned his Grandmother was ill.  Will he have to care for his younger sister instead of school?  How old is she and is she supported by Compassion?  She could not answer.

I am finding it hard to let go of someone I have never actually held.

So in my emotional state I threw an e-mail to my friend.  She knows people.  Actually, she was lucky enough to meet Tsegaye in our stead.  Maybe she knows a way.

Compassion allows for a last gift of money that will go to the child 100%, however, his area is so poor, how safe would that money be with him?  How could a young 22yr. old make it last for 2 years?

My friend knows someone, he is trustworthy, but busy, very busy.  She advises it would be better to pay the school than to just hand over a large amount of cash to Tsegaye.  But it is hard to arrange by e-mail.  Ethiopia, it seems, does not work like that.  It works better face to face.

My friend is going in May, and has invited me along.   There, I could arrange things for him.  Ensure as best I can, that he finishes school.  Meet him and his sister and Grandmother.  Have a cultural guide.

I cannot imagine leaving my girls.  (I cannot imagine telling them I am leaving either)  I am typically not so good without them.  I am ok for the first few days, but after that I tend to go a little wonky.  It's for about a week.  What would I do with the girls?  Wayne works at 5am.  What do you do with 3 kids at 5am?  Clearly I would need to either send them to someone else's house, or have someone come and stay while I am gone.  And who, knowing the sleeping habits of my baby, would sign up for that?

Here's my dirty secret, I think sometimes, occasionally, every so often, that Motherhood is...boring.  There.  I said(typed) it.


It's just that the consistency that kids require in regards to their schedules is so routine that it makes it hard to have many adventures, at least in the age bracket mine are and have been for the last 8 years.  And so I feel like I am lulled into this false sense of living.  I know that as they get older, we and they will be up for bigger things.  But right now everything is so much the same, day to day.  Sometimes, occasionally, every so often, it feels like I might be missing the point.

But what if?

What if I could arrange it and I could part with them for a week.  What if I could set this up and finish what we have started with Tsegaye.  He has asked in every letter for us to come.  The thought makes me teary and nauseous at the same time.  What is better for my girls?  To stay here and keep their environment constant, or to see me leave to advocate for someone who has nothing?  Would they get it?

If all the moons and stars align(that is a big if), would I regret not going?  Will I look in the mirror satisfied with the effort I put into this small boy who is now a man.  Can I justify the significant money it will take to make it happen?  If he were actually my child, would I even hesitate?

All this sounds grandiose as I reread it.  But the logistics are daunting.  I got panic attacks the last time I scheduled a flight without my brood.  Denver will likely cry for a good 2 weeks before I leave, daily.  Adalyn still wakes in the middle of the night calling for me, though she would survive, of course, would her fill-in caretaker??  We finally have a beginning to some financial footing, is it smart to use so much of it for this?  Is there no other way to arrange it?  And how to arrange it with him, a young man with no resources that does not speak English.  He has no phone, no e-mail, though I am praying he knows someone who does.

So I will ask you, dear reader, to comment.  I hardly ever do that since I'm kinda scared no one will and I'll feel weird pangs of cyber-rejection.  But I need the wisdom of elders, or others at least.  So even you non-commenters, what do you think?  Not that I will be obligated to do as any of you suggest, I want to make that clear.  But I have made mistakes in the past in part due to my reticence to share or ask for advice.  And this might be too big to mess up.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Corning Museum of Glass-A November Birthday Treat(a little late)

I have given up on Birthday presents.  Well, kinda.  To be more specific, I have given up on toys as birthday presents.  Believe me, we have enough.  Truthfully, I think the toy population procreates at night because I don't know where some of them have come from.  So now we tell the girls we will take them anywhere(within reason) they want to go for their birthday.  In November, Denver decided she wanted to visit the Corning Museum of Glass.   Unfortunately, November and the time between the end of my volleyball season and Christmas went like a blur and sadly, there was not enough time for it.  But between Christmas and New Years we managed a day away for it, and I'm so glad we did.

 As the birthday girl, we arranged to have her help make her own piece of glass.  A sculpture shape that she chose.  The glassblower gathered the glass, picked up the frit(colors Denver had chosen for her piece) and worked it in.  Denver got to do all the blowing.  It was a really neat thing to see her be part of even if it did only involve blowing.  I could see her absorb the experience like a sponge.

It was about an hour and a half drive and since we ditched non-sleeping baby with Grandma and Grandpa(thank you), we were really able to focus a bit more on both the older two.
 They are finally at an age where museums are becoming more interesting(besides the Museum of Play which doesn't count since it's full of toys).  And we saw most of the demos they offered.  Since Wayne and I both work with glass, some things we knew, but we still came away with snippets of useful information.  And I could tell afterwards that they had really listened.  We ended the tour by looking through the gallery and thankfully stumbled upon a 'Glass Detective Brochure'   where they had to find a glass piece that matched the shape shown with a few clues to help them along.  I doubt we would have enjoyed the last part without it to be honest.  Looking is not as much fun as touching for small people.
It was a definite highlight of the Christmas break.  It made me so glad we didn't take the easy way out and go with a thing and instead went with an experience.  Maybe one of my goals this year will be to give more experiences when I can and less 'stuff.'